Peace of Mind

“Happiness comes from you. No one else can make you happy.  You make you happy.”-Beyonce

It’s easy to feel happy for someone when you’re happy for yourself.  There’s no reason to be unhappy, making it easy to hear their good news.  It’s more difficult to be happy for people when you’re surrounded by failure; sadness; even disappointment.  Why is that? Even when we want to be happy for others, it comes from a different place when we are having trouble finding happiness for ourselves.  As a society we often see what others have and compare it to what we have.  At this point it is not even identifiable.  We compare ourselves to thousands of people a day just through social media.  We might not say, I’m jealous of her body, or I’m better than him because I have a car and he’s on the bus.  But, screenshotting others’ failures and sharing it with friends; clicking through someone’s snapchat or not watching it entirely because they’re sharing their accomplishments; being quick to comment on others’ failures and slow to comment on their accomplishments are just that.  This is something we all do in different ways.  It’s easy to say “I’m not like that” when life is going as planned, and you’re happy.  But, how do you combat these feelings and reactions when you just can’t catch a break.  A way that I found works for me is maintaining my inner peace.  When you are at peace within yourself, you are seldom shaken by hard times.  This helps streamline those negative thoughts, acknowledge them, and turn them into something better.  This can be accomplished with three steps:

Clear Your Mind

I started making time everyday to clear my mind.  Whether that is through meditation, prayer, yoga, or turning off my phone, I make sure I do this everyday.  This is monumental when seeking inner peace.  Taking time out of your day to clear your mind and streamline your thoughts helps you single out negative feelings in the plethora of ideas you constantly work through daily.  Everyday struggles from waking up late, getting to class or work on time, forgetting things and even added responsibility that friends and family put on you can be internalized to your detriment.  It is so important to rid your mind of these thoughts daily and refresh.  This is something I always found to be difficult, so I use apps to assist me. There are even apps available for guided meditation and yoga.  My favorites right now are “Breethe” and “Daily Yoga” in the iPhone App Store.

Feel The Pain

The next step to combat these negative feelings is acknowledging them.  This is crucial because we are so quick to say “forget it” or “I’m unbothered” but realistically… you’re bothered.  Say that, make that known, own that pain.  Without knowing what bothers you you’ll never be able to get over it.  Let the hurt simmer, let it burn, cry if you need to.  Then wipe your tears and plan your next move.  It’s so important to feel pain and experience our hurt because if we never do, it will just build up and come out in unhealthy ways or through unhealthy habits.  We can’t let these feelings take over, take a premeditated amount of time out of your day to let it out, then get right back on track.

Identify

Finally, identify the issue next time it comes up.  It’s easy to break down negative feelings if you have categorized them from the previous time you let the feeling equate to a reaction.  For example, if you’re like me and you eat all the time, like all the time, chances are you aren’t eating because you are hungry.  I realized that I was eating because I was bored, sad, annoyed, or feeling any unpleasant feeling. This lead to excessive weight gain which just fueled the cycle even more.  When I broke down that feeling and acknowledged it as a flaw of mine I was able to identify it the next time I reached for a snack. “Am I hungry?” No, I ate an hour ago. I’m just frustrated because I can’t figure out how to solve my homework assignment.  Acknowledging this helped me lose 20+ lbs this year and feel a lot better about myself.

Breaking down negative feelings and being intentional about positive thinking are great ways to open the door for more positivity in your life.  In doing this you are able to spread positivity to others and even celebrate their accomplishments in a more sincere fashion.  I’m definitely not an expert, but I have been someone who went from always being happy to having to battle negative feelings constantly.  I had to figure out how to pull myself out of that place in a healthy way and return to the positive person I’ve always been known to be.

“Go home, watch TV, eat ice cream, do whatever you gotta do for the night, but tomorrow you get up and come up with your next move”- Jerome Dotson

Amaka

photo citation: http://www.lanzarotesurf.com/benefits-yoga-surfers/