What Not To Do When You're Emotional

“Never make decision when you are upset, sad, jealous, or in love” -Mario Teguh

Making decisions is part of our daily lives, and even more so the older we get.  Decisions and choices become harder.  They have more depth, more meaning.  But have you ever made the wrong decision because you just weren’t thinking straight? I definitely have.  And those decisions are the hardest ones to let go of.  Forgiving yourself from making a bad decision is a process, but what can we do in order to avoid the process altogether?  Well, it starts with the decision.  There are levels to these decisions, of course.  But, one thing I caution you NEVER to do, is make a big decision while you’re emotional.

Now, contrary to popular misconception, emotional does not mean crying or sensitive.  I’m referring to the fact of being consumed by an abundance of emotions.  When you’re happy or in a good mood and someone asks you for money, your instinct may be to give it to them, especially if it’s a reasonable amount.  But, a week later when you don’t see them again you start to wonder if that was a good idea or not.  Been there, done that, and hopefully you never have to.  Here are three times we often face in our lives that require a decision to be made, my advice, don’t make one.

Making a life altering decision is something you should never do when filled with an abundance of emotions, but that does not always involve something big like signing a deed to a house.  I consider a life altering decision to be anything that will still have an effect after 48 hours.  I can be a bleeding heart at times, and when confronted with someone that is hurting I often want to help.  Many people are the same, we become overwhelmed with empathy and compassion.  But, sometimes we unknowingly become enablers and have to remove ourselves emotionally from situations that could actually be detrimental in the long run.

Another time to be cautious of your emotions is when posting on social media.  Posting on social media can often be predetermined.  We take enough pictures when we look good, so that when it comes to posting, all we have to do is write the caption.  And that’s where we go wrong.  Do you ever feel like a caption is directed at someone and never about the actual picture? “Old to me new to you” “Your (bestie/fav/whatever) could never” “Best you ever knew” Often times it’s because we might feel envious, or inadequate from something completely unrelated.  Another time we may go wrong on social media is when posting about our significant other.  Whether there's a fight or a minor disagreement, it doesn’t belong on Twitter.  This is definitely a trigger for me, as I’ve been on the wrong side of a few hurtful Tweets.  And had they not turned to Twitter to exploit their anger, many feelings and regrets could have been spared.

And one of the absolute worst times to give into an emotion is when you feel like giving someone a piece of your mind.  Anger often fuels these conversations as well.  It’s like a natural liquid courage, once it flows through your veins you say things that you wouldn’t have said with a clear head.  I have definitely ruffled a good friendship or two from fully expressing my anger.  It doesn't make you or them feel any better and can be a gateway to losing people you care about.  One thing I try to do now when I’m mad at someone, is write it down.  Then later on when I have a clear head, I’ll look at it and try to restructure it in a non-threatening way.  The reality is that we aren't always allotted the time to come down from an emotional high, but when you do have the time, Take It!

“Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your mind, feelings, and emotions” -Will Smith

Amaka